Im happy but there is a heavy feeling of sadness in my heart that I just can't remove. Why am I like this?

You are like me, then.

Needless to say, my failed attempts to fix my sadness simply brought me more pain and suffering.

And the sadness?

Is heroin really as good as people say it is?

It wasn’t until about 10 years ago that I finally fell out of that ferris wheel of trying and failing to fix myself.

So if you are sad - like me - then be sad.

In the absence of a should, I was free to be as I am.

Is it ok if I wear a bonnet as a person with straight hair? I used to have curly hair, but later on in life I got it treated, I’m not black, but my hair keeps getting frizzy every morning so I am considering it. Is it cultural appropriation?

It’s here now, writing to you.

But no matter what I read or practiced, I could never make the sadness budge for longer than a few fleeting moments - and even then, it was likely due to me being distracted from the sensation of sadness rather than anything actually shifting.

Now, this may sound like a story of failure and giving up, but it’s actually a story of liberation.

Fatty liver: Symptoms and warning signs seen during the night - Times of India

It’s the most beautiful and liberating thing in the world.

It’s impossible to overstate the freedom and peace I discovered, and I realized the only one who had been keeping those from me was… me and my imagined standards and expectations for how I had imagined I should be.

I was tired of trying and failing.

FDA chief wary of federal recommendations for Covid-19 vaccines - Politico

I was tired of fighting.

What most people don’t know unless they’ve looked more closely is that there is also an element of deep, profound sadness that has always been with me since as long as I can remember.

The sadness was still there.

What trains transport cars and passengers near Pompano Beach, Florida that goes to New York?

It’s difficult to put into words exactly what caused what, but to the best of my ability to describe it, I felt as if my will to keep fighting was beaten right out of me.

When I stopped trying to force myself to be something I am not, I gave myself the freedom of being who I am.

It’s still here.

Scientists Discover Anti-Aging Molecules Hiding in Your Blood - SciTechDaily

Your job is not to be the manager of your life, but the one who discovers yourself fully.

This interpretation lead me on a path of self improvement, to fix what I considered to be “wrong” with myself.

You are the masterpiece you came here to discover.

What should you answer when someone says to you in French, "au plaisir de vous revoir"?

What I am trying to say is that when you stop trying to change yourself into something you are not, you give yourself the gift of discovering yourself as you already are.

Without resistance, sadness has a sense of beauty and depth I cannot find otherwise in life.

Be who you already are.

A promising new HIV vaccine was set to start trials. Then came Trump's latest cuts : Goats and Soda - NPR

For much of my adult life, I interpreted this sadness as something being wrong - with either myself or my life in general.

Most people that know me would probably describe me as a social, happy, and somewhat quirky person with a twisted sense of humor.

But unlike before, there is no more resistance to the sadness.

If a female has XX chromosomes and a male has XY chromosomes, what chromosomes do transgenders have?

So I finally threw my hands up and said something to the tune of “fuck it, since I can't seem to change, I’ll just be whatever I am then.”

I had run out of hope.